Saturday, 30 January 2016

eyeing up his rewards

Our brief for Creative Writing homework this week was to get outside our comfort zone and write a narrative piece getting under the skin of another character. Have I succeeded?
 
Back home now, he straightway went upstairs and unlocked the back bedroom door. Flicking on the lights he sat down at his work bench in the otherwise completely dark room. His bed had long ago been moved out, down to what had been the dining room. He’d boarded up the windows when he’d started, not wanting any other eyes in here. No one else ever came into this room. Not yet. For now they were his and only his. His rewards.  
It had started the night in the park, all those years ago, as he was dragging the red head into the undergrowth. She’d been surprisingly easy. Too easy in retrospect. Always walking the same route home after her late shift finished. Her black skirt tight across her backside, her black top taut against her chest, nipples hard, her unfettered boobs bouncing, almost jumping out, demanding attention. No doubt the punters in the pub salivated over the bar at them as she pulled their pints, or wanked themselves off under coats conveniently draped across their knees as they squatted on the bar stools. He’d salivated too you might say, he joked as he recalled his first. She always had pride of place. His first. Susan Jones. Such a tease, always joking with the clientele, always smiling at them as if they were Sean Connery, as if you were the only man left in the world, as if she had eyes for only you. What sorry drunken fools they were, these middle aged, greying men who sat alone and pushed back the beers night after night. Most of them wouldn’t be able to get it up if she was laid out in front of them for the taking, he thought. But not him, he’d had no such problem even there in the middle of the park in the quiet of the wee small hours of the night, he’d had her, back and front. She’d been easy to subdue, her tiny frame overwhelmed by his. His knife first at and then in her throat. He’d known to be careful, not to leave his DNA, to wear gloves, to cover his hair in his balaclava and to use a condom, much as he hated them. But it was the only way. He had to stop her taunting everyone, parading around like this, and this was the only way to stop their gawping. Her terror excited him, propelled him on as he thrust in again and again, climaxing with her last gasp as she lay bleeding out. As he rearranged himself before the walk home, he’d stood examining his work, the naked body laid out now in a perfect X, his knife marks carved out the cross on her chest. But something was not right, not as he had foreseen it. Her eyes were still open. Beautiful brown eyes. That wasn’t right. She shouldn’t be seeing her entry into Hell, she should be in panic, filled with terror of the unseen as she felt the external flames in the Darkness scorch her, she should not be able to see what would happen to her at the hands of the Devil and all his kind. So he’d cut them out.
Tonight he’d sent another miscreant soul to her Deliverance. By now he had got his work down to a fine art. He laid them out their own homes now, in their own beds. He’d found this added their shock, their horror, their fear and often to their initial submissiveness. He found he could spend more time with them this way, both before and after. He found that his thrill and organism was different before and after. Their before warmth giving way to a tissue tightening he found doubly stimulating. He increasingly enjoyed his work, and he felt that his knife work had improved, gaining a certain flair resulting in a more artistic final presentation. He did however maintain his discipline, neatly laying them out correctly for the Devil’s pleasure, and each time was permitted his reward.
He worked quickly and efficiently to mount tonight’s reward. Mixing the plaster of Paris, then ensuring their perfect alignment, measuring their exact spacing with his ruler he set them in place. Once dried and hard, he draw back the curtain hanging across the far wall and mounted them along with their name and date on the next available space. Each night he stood eyeing up his rewards collection reading each in turn, starting with the brown of Susan Jones, 14th November 2013 and tonight climaxing with the blue of Marcy Dawson, 26 February 2015. Only after completing this final part of this ritual did he strip off, drop his clothes in the washer, and shower before making supper and taking it up to his mother in the front bedroom.
© Sheila Ash 30th January 2015




May my heart be open to little birds who are the secrets of living

“May my heart be open to little birds who are the secrets of living” EE Cummings
I’m walking along the lane, stealthily, silently. Decisively placing one foot in front of another. Eyes alert, glancing briefly, constantly from side to side. Alert to all the hustle and bustle. I’m on a mission. The stall sellers line both sides of the alley. The smells and sounds of their wares overflow onto it. The clash of tin wares falling, the dud thud of plastic bowls and buckets, the blood red drainage from the butcher’s and from the haberdashery shop the song of chattering woman and a flash of bright yellow ribbon. My first stop. They like me there. I step inside and walk the length of the shop and back again before finding a plush green silk cushion to settle on. After a few minutes the haberdasher comes over with my milk “How are you today?” she says as she strokes my head. I snuggle in close. “Such a good boy” she announces to her customers. “The best vermin catcher” She turns back to her clients. I nestle deep in the cushion softness, sip my milk and fall into an ever so gentle snooze.
As I awake, I see the shop has become much busier. Woman and the daughters. Bales of pink cottons and silks are strewn across the counters. Bangles are being chosen. Ribbons measured. Perhaps I can sneak out quickly before that horrid little girl with the pigtails spies me. But I’m contentious of my “free” milk so I dutifully wander down the shop again, check behind a few of the bales of cotton, rummage in the remnant ends left piling up in the corner. But there is nothing else to be had here today. So I head on out.
I continue on down the alley heading for the chicken seller at the far western corner where there are always good pickings but it means passing the place run by the man in the white coat with its strange smells. I give it a wide berth, as always. There’s something about those smells and his coat I don’t like - too clean, like death, like the aroma from those new houses built on the edge of town, too clean, smelling of pine trees where there are none.
The alley has got much busier as the morning progressed. The woman are out doing their shopping and the stall holders are loudly and proudly trumping their wares. I negotiate the maze of legs. Spying a pair of red stilettoes I follow behind them for a while lulled by their luxury. I am thinking I am hers, with its lazy life, dreaming of cream and cuddles all day and night, the good life far away from the daily toil of the alley.
My dream is broken by a kick to my left side. “Ouch, that hurt” I’m flying through the air, landing in the drainage in front of the animal seller. Dazed, I try to take in what happened. I’d not seen the blow coming. I can’t identify the culprit. I try to stand. I need to get away from here. Tempted once by fat juicy fish swimming in a bowl, I had ventured in. But deep in the bowels of the store I had found fear. The sight of ferrets unable to turn round in their glass cages, of white rats engulfed by never stopping wheels, had never left me.
It’s then I hear it. A song bird singing. It is beautiful. I try again to stand, and inspired by the striking song I manage to do it. I’m still shaking but I am on my legs. The bird continues to sing its song. She is high above me in a wooden cage. I stare up at her. She continues to sing to me. For the first time I hear a mournful tone hidden behind its joyful chorus. I am hearing her real song, her real message. I try to reach her, but am unable to reach the cage, hanging out of reach, high on the stall’s door. Before I can try to stretch up again, the stall owner is on me “Shoo, get. Get out of here.” I run, the bird’s song is with me, getting louder and louder now as all the birds have joined in. Their symphony floods over me, embalming my bruised muscles, empowering my legs. I run, faster and faster. I don’t look back. I don’t stop until I am at the other end of the alley. I scramble behind the lumber pile, and resting there I look back down the alley knowing why a caged bird sings.
© Sheila Ash 25th January 2016







Sunday, 24 January 2016

Sheltering from ties that bind

    A Sheltered WomanA Sheltered Woman
    by
    This short story is available online. 
    It won the Sunday Times Short Story Prize in 2015, at GBP30,000 it is the richest prize for short fiction, and the author is the first woman to have won it.

    It is the story of Auntie Mei who works as a one month nanny with newborns and their nursing mothers, leaving after each baby turns 1 month old. Auntie Mei is currently working for Chanel, a Chinese American wife, whose much older husband is away working, and staying away. The young woman is a reluctant mother, struggling to produce milk and love for her child, possible post natal depression, although perhaps just a post delivery recognition that her seduction and capture of the older man has backfired on her.
    The title is interesting - who is the sheltered woman? and what is she sheltered from? Is it Chanel, is it Mei, was it her mothers, her grandmother? Or all of them. Mei's own upbringing is a strange one, brought up by mother and grandmother, without male influence. The final line " When she moved on to the next place, she would leave no mystery or damage behind; no one in this world would be disturbed by having known her" suggests to me that it is Mei herself you is sheltering herself from her true self by the life she has chosen to lead - a childless woman perpetually working with newborns, only to leave them untouched and untouched by them when they are one month old. No wanting any ties that bind, she moves on quickly and apparently unregretfully to the next Baby. In many ways no different to the other characters inthe story, who all loosen, break ties to others.

    ashramblings verdict 4 * I do like stories which do not have a traditional ending!